Power dynamics in relationships are endlessly fascinating to me. Think of someone in your life who triggers you and leaves you feeling “less than” when you are in their presence. Now think of someone in your life who listens to you and leaves you feeling seen and understood. What a difference! Although there are probably many differences between these two people that could be considered, one is their relationship to power. Being in relationship with someone who pushes to be right or in control is exhausting and disempowering while being in relationship with someone who is collaborative and who can admit when they are wrong can be deeply fulfilling. I believe that power dynamics are at the heart of what allows us to find deeply connected relationships. Many people that I work with have had toxic people in their lives that have treated them as if they were a problem. When we are repeatedly told through words or actions that there is something wrong with us, we are likely to begin to believe it. Repeatedly being exposed to blame is incredibly disempowering.
Now give some thought to that person who left you feeling seen and understood. The qualities of that person may include that they listen to you, respect you, trust you, and that they are secure enough in themselves that they can allow you to be yourself without needing to control you. They don’t need to be better than you and, therefore, they love to see you thrive. Those relationships are relationships of empowerment where each person wants only the very best for the other no matter what. These relationships are gems to be treasured!
How do we invite more empowering relationships into our lives? One way is to embody empowerment ourselves. Take a few hours to watch the voice in your own head and the way in which it treats you. Does it boss you around and blame you or does it encourage and trust you? If you notice that you don’t have an empowering mind, you’re not alone. I love working with clients to untangle the messages we have accidentally ingested and believed that are not healthy for us. I use a combination of talk therapy, hypnotherapy, and somatic therapy to work with my client’s internal world. We can all become more conscious of our internal dialogue so that it can shift to be more supportive and empowering. What I notice in my private practice is the clients that do this work begin to draw more loving and supportive relationships into their lives because they are being more loving and supportive to themselves. They begin to nurture the healthy relationships in their lives and weed out the unhealthy ones. We can rid our life of toxic, disempowering relationships by consciously choosing to no longer feed them. And we can invite healthy, empowering relationships into our lives by deeply accepting love.
If you would like support in doing this work so that you feel more fulfilled and balanced in your life, please schedule a session with me or call me to discuss how working together might help. And if you are specifically working on manifesting sacred partnership in your life, please send me an email as I am putting together a series that may interest you.
May you be surrounded and filled by love, always.